2 things: 1) you said “2. Do not project you own fears on your disciple, nor minimize the object of their fear. ” how do we do this? I am sure that I probably do this, but am not completely sure what this means, how i do it, and how i keep from doing it?

and per ramon, I think that i too attempt to rationalize away people’s fears (including my own). this makes it tough for me to recognize fear as fear and not rationalize it away, but embrace it and love through it…yikes.

b

Yet, in the end, it is only perfect love that casts out fear. More than any reasoning I can give, the affirmation of God’s love in word and deed is the best support I can give anyone in their time of fear.

I want to learn better how to love as a first response in all situations.

I love this love this love this post!

I recently heard some rich things on this very topic:

1. While we all experience many different kinds of fears, we typically have ONE main fear that we tend to wrongly believe. This fear is usually something we wrongly believe about ourselves.

This develops because things happen to people–good things and bad things. When things happen, even from a very young age we draw conclusions about ourselves.

For example: A 3-year old is scolded by her mother. Does she think, “Mommy must be in a bad mood today.”? No; while the youngster wouldn’t be able to articulate it, she would think, “I’m in trouble. I was bad.” In other words, the conclusions she draws aren’t about her mother or the situation, they are about herself.

2. If we are not aware of that one core fear, it is probably still controlling us in some way.

3. When we wrongly believe that core fear, we will consequently function out of it.

Here’s another example: If a person’s core fear is that he or she is defective in some way, he will consistently feel and make choices out of that conclusion that he has drawn about himself.

To continue with this example, when his core fear is triggered by things that happen in life, as you said, he will tend to lash out, withdraw, or self-medicate. If the person believing he is defective is cut off in traffic, he is outraged and thinks, “Back off buddy! There’s nothing wrong with me–I can drive too!”

Ultimately, when his core fear is challenged, the question he wants answered deep inside is, “Am I worthy of love?”…That’s why your emphasis on affirming your love and God’s love for him is paramount.

Keep the blog posts coming! Brilliant stuff here, friend.