Category Archives: Servant’s Heart

Teaching Your Disciples How to Love #1

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Love is the mark of a follower of Jesus.  Yet for many, love does not come easy.  It is vital in the training of your disciples that they learn not only how to express their love for others, but also how to receive love from others.  Some love easily but have a difficult time accepting love, while others receive love with no trouble but have a difficult time expressing love.

Recently I was with one of our groups of disciples and in my private conversations I was impressed with the love each of the members had for one another.  I had assumed that they all knew of this mutual respect, but later I found out that none of the members had expressed their love to the others because embarrassment had closed off their heartfelt affection.   Immediately I went to each person (most issues are best resolved outside of a group meeting) and gave them the assignment of meeting face to face with each member to express their love exactly as they had told it to me.

Kierkegaard exhorts us:

Your friend, your beloved, your child, or whoever is the object of your love, has a claim upon its expression also in words when it really moves you inwardly.  The emotion is not your possession but the other’s . . . you should let the mouth speak out of the abundance of the heart; you should not be ashamed of your feelings and still less of honestly giving to each one his due. [1]

Some tips I have learned along the way:

  • Encourage your disciple to express the specific reason(s) why he loves another rather than just a general “I love you, man!”
  • Help your disciple look for opportunities to serve others in the group.  Nothing says “I love you” like meeting the need of another.
  • Discuss with your disciple the strengths of others and then encourage him to express his appreciation for those strengths to that individual.  It is easy to focus on the weakness of another which causes us to be blind to his strengths.  “Wherever there is building up, love is present, and wherever love is, there is building up.” [2]
  • The book “The Heart of the Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman is helpful in providing practical ways for your disciples to express their love for one another.
  • Individual attention.  Have each of your disciples get together one-on-one and for the purpose of listening to each other’s life stories.

[1] Kierkegaard, Soren. “Works of Love”, (New York: Harper Perennial, 1962), 29.

[2] Kierkegaard, Soren. “Works of Love”, (New York: Harper Perennial, 1962), 204.

Hometown Disciple Making #2

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One question I am asked frequently is “how do you know who to disciple?”  One criterion I use is that the disciple lives in close proximity.   Jesus selected Capernaum to be his hometown and base for his ministry.  He chose men to disciple who lived and worked in the same region.  As Michael Wilkins has pointed out: “Most of the twelve disciples were from Capernaum and Bethsaida…” [1]

Being near to your disciples is important in order for you to know your disciples, for your disciples to know you, and for the disciples to know one another.  (This is not to say that longer distances between you and your disciple cannot work, but generally living close provides a better environment to make disciples.)

Here are some reasons why it is better if your disciples live near you:

  • For the Discipler:
    • The discipler needs to have access to his disciples during times of their personal suffering.  Trials are important times because they are the work of God in the life of your disciple.
    • Living in close proximity allows the discipler to serve the physical needs of his disciple.
    • When he (Jesus) had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. . . “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you” (John 13:12-17).
    • “The pivotal pronouncement of servanthood in Mark 10:45 declares the essence of Jesus’ ministry.  By comprehending this, the disciples will comprehend the essence of discipleship as servanthood, including their motivation, position, ambition, expectations and example.  The disciple who is privileged to be a member of Jesus’ kingdom is a servant…” [2]
    • Life together allows the discipler to witness how his disciple responds to the circumstances of life and how he relates to people.
  • For the Disciple:
    • The disciple has the opportunity to imitate his discipler by observing the way he lives out following Jesus. (e.g. How he treats his wife, relates to his children, relates to others, and responds to suffering.) Paul became a model for others by first living among them.  “You know how we lived among you for your sake.  You became imitators of us and of the Lord” (1 Thess 1:5-6).
    • “Even though it is probable that Jesus’ disciples memorized much of his teaching and passed it on as the tradition of the church, the disciples were committed more to his person than to his teaching.  Following Jesus means togetherness with him and service to him while traveling on the Way” [3].
    • The disciple has the chance to interact with your other disciples.
[1] M.J. Wilkins, Disciples. Dictionary of Jesus and the Gospels, (Downers Grove: Inter Varsity Press, 1992) p. 177.
[2] Ibid p. 184.
[3] Ibid p. 187.

A Servant’s Heart and Making Disciples 3

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How are disciples of Jesus made?

New disciples are birthed when I die to my life and place others ahead of myself by serving them. It is not the act of service itself that changes the disciple; rather it is the death to self occurring in the discipler that produces spiritual life in the disciple. Jesus gives us the key to kingdom multiplication in John 12 when he says to his disciples:

“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.” (John 12:23-26)

Paul viewed his ministry in this same way when he writes: “…so then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you” (2 Corinthians 4:12). It is critical that a servant’s heart is cultivated in each disciple in order that the multiplication of the kingdom will continue. Most church growth strategies focus on expansion on a corporate or group level. Either churches begin other churches or a small group multiplies my growing numerically and then dividing. I believe that Jesus intended for kingdom expansion to be on the individual level; each disciple producing another disciple.

How long should I serve a disciple, especially when there does not seem to be any progress?

This life change and multiplication process in a disciple will take longer than you thought it would and requires the discipler to patient. The disciple is often unaware of the significance of being served by his discipler until later. Jesus served the twelve for three years and yet on the night before his crucifixion the disciples were still debating among themselves who was the greatest (Luke 22:24). Once again the Lord used this opportunity to instruct and demonstrate the kingdom value of a servant’s heart. To be a follower of Jesus is to be servant.

A Servant’s Heart and Making Disciples 2

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There is a story of Jesus and his disciples that makes me smile every time I read it. They were getting settled into the house after a road trip, and Jesus asked the disciples, “What were you guys arguing about back there on the road?” Busted! The disciples answered him with silence because he had caught them arguing about which one of them was the greatest. Here is the exact account:

“They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, ‘What were you arguing about on the road?’ But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, ‘If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.'” Mark 9:33-37

As followers of Jesus there is a particular “way” we are to relate to one another and live out our lives together (Luke actually calls Jesus’ new movement “The Way” in Acts). Jesus formed a group with the 12 disciples to have a relational laboratory in which to teach the values of the kingdom of God. The “way” kingdom disciples are to live is to consider others more important than themselves and to serve one another. Form any group, and there will eventually be conflict. Jesus was able to use each conflict that occurred among His disciples as a teaching point to expose the source of the conflict and also to provide them with the solution. The solution was found in the example of Jesus himself. He said to them, “…I am among you as one who serves,” (Luke 22:27) and “…just as I did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give my life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).

A discipler’s instruction alone is not enough to form the kingdom values in the heart of his disciples and their community. It requires the discipler to demonstrate a servant’s heart by his actions and attitude.

In closing:

  1. It is in community that the discipler can both teach each disciple how to serve the others, and illustrate a servant’s heart by his own life.
  2. Conflict in your community is not a disruption, but rather an opportunity to move the community toward serving one another.
  3. Help each individual to identify opportunities to serve the other members in the group. (Do not assume that they are aware of opportunities to serve. Our eyes are tuned to see ways for people to serve us, rather than to see how we can serve others.)

A Servant’s Heart and Making Disciples 1

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Taylor Gardner is the man who discipled me. His life is an illustration of a servant’s heart. One evening I received news that my dad had been severely hurt in a motorcycle accident hundreds of miles away. Though late at night, Taylor drove across the city to be with me and to make sure I was alright. I will never forget that act of kindness as long as I live. Taylor went on to serve me by opening up for me ministry opportunities, even when he knew he could have done a better job on his own.

As a discipler, serving your disciple is a necessary element in the relationship in order to cultivate within him a heart to follow Jesus. Unlike the world, the discipler is to serve his disciples rather than being the one served, as exemplified by Jesus himself. He not only taught about a servant’s heart, he demonstrated servanthood by serving his disciples in daily living, such as preparing breakfast and washing their feet, and in the ultimate act of service in laying down his life for them.

Disciple making requires more than a weekly Bible study with a disciple at Starbucks; it is living life together. As a discipler I must be acquainted well enough with the life of my disciple in order to see the opportunities to serve him and his family. I must also have the time available to serve my disciple when the opportunity does arise. This is why a discipler can only disciple a limited number of people. What good is it that I am aware of a need of my disciple, but I am not able to meet that need because I am too busy?

Here are a couple of lessons I have learned along the way about serving:

  1. The opportunities to serve your disciple will come at inopportune times. It is the sacrifice you make to meet that need of your disciple that empowers the act of service with love.
  2. Look for ways to serve your disciple in simple ways (like a ride to the airport), as well as a major event (such as a move).
  3. It is the responsibility of the discipler to cultivate such a degree of comfort in the relationship that the disciple is able to share a need with the discipler.
  4. An act of service says, “I love you.”