Many of us stepped into parenthood with excitement, despite knowing we were far from fully prepared. Yet when it comes to making disciples of Jesus, that same sense of inadequacy often stops us in our tracks. Why is that?

At the root of this hesitation is a set of assumptions we’ve absorbed—about what it takes to make disciples. Some believe it hinges on having the perfect curriculum. Others focus on training, programs, or mentorship structures. Entire schools and ministries have been built around these models, often sending the message—spoken or unspoken—that we need to be certified, credentialed, or specially equipped to disciple others.

But making disciples isn’t first and foremost about instruction or formal structure. It’s about relationship—specifically, a friendship grounded in sacrificial love.

Discipleship begins when someone lays down their life for another, just as Jesus did for us. Spiritual life takes root when a person experiences the kind of love that sacrifices for their good. That’s how disciples are made.

Jesus taught this principle of death bringing life, and Paul echoed it through his own ministry. On the last night with his disciples, Jesus said:

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.”
(John 15:12–14)

Years later, the Apostle Paul wrote to the believers in Thessalonica:

“…but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.”
(1 Thessalonians 2:7–8)

J. Glenn Gray, reflecting on the intense bonds formed in battle, offers insight into this kind of love in The Warrior: Reflections on Men in Battle:

“Organization for a common and concrete goal in peacetime does not evoke anything like the degree of comradeship commonly known in war… At its height, this sense of comradeship is an ecstasy… Men are true comrades only when each is ready to give up his life for the other, without reflection and without thought of personal loss.”

If we’re waiting until we feel fully qualified to make disciples, we’ll never begin. The qualification isn’t found in credentials—it’s found in love. A love willing to lay down its life for another.