Tag Archives: Love

Friendship and Making Disciples 3

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Many desire a “Jonathan and David” friendship but few are willing to pay the price. The starting point for such a friendship is a heart surrendered to the Lord. If I am not yielded to the will of God, not only will I have difficulty embracing God’s purpose for my own life, but I also open myself up to jealousy and envy, even with those to whom I am closest. Jonathan exhibits for us a heart that is surrendered to the purpose of God that resulted in his extraordinary friendship with David, in spite of their circumstances.

As Jonathan and David’s story unfolds we see deep into the heart of Jonathan. Jonathan was to be the king of Israel after his father Saul, but due to Saul’s stubbornness and disobedience, his family loss the right of succession. Jonathan’s loss of the throne was due to no fault of his own, and yet he is submissive to the purpose of God even though it means a lesser role for him. Not only was it a diminished role, but he submits himself to the very man who is to take his place on the throne.

And Saul’s son, Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.” (1 Samuel 23:16-18)

Jonathan had the freedom to love and serve David rather than consider him as a threat because he was surrendered to God’s purpose in all things. Viewing others from a surrendered heart removes all threat and gives me the opportunity and privilege to lay down my life for my friend, first out of my love for God but also out of love for my friend. Also, David could trust Jonathan because Jonathan’s surrendered heart would never allow him to thwart God’s plan. A surrendered heart finds joy in making others a success, no matter the cost.

Here are some final thoughts:

  1. Take an afternoon with the Lord to pray for your disciple/friend and seek what the Lord’s purpose maybe for your friend’s life. (Most people will never have anyone do this for them during their entire lifetime.)
  2. Communicate to your friend your belief that God has a purpose for his life and together seek out what that purpose may be.
  3. Ask the Lord to provide opportunities for you to serve your friend.
  4. Help your friend to recruit a team of people to prayer for their life’s purpose.

Family and Making Disciples 3 – Multiplication

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The church (ekklesia) is a family and is to be led as a family. When the apostle Paul was looking for men to lead the church, he looked for men who were good husbands and dads. Paul understood the family essence of the church and that the same principles that build a healthy family are the same values that will multiply the kingdom of God. He writes: “He (the overseer) must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church (ekklesia)?)“ (1 Timothy 3:3-6)

Multiplication in a family is a natural and anticipated result. Good parents create an environment that is not only safe for the child but also one that moves the child onto maturity. Parents understand that the maturing process takes time but it is balanced with the expectation that someday this child is to leave their home to raise his own family. There is something unnatural about a 27 year old still living at home.

Jesus used the example of yeast and a seed to illustrate the multiplication nature of the kingdom of God. Jesus said: “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:23-25). The multiplication principle of “death brings life” was taught and demonstrated by both Jesus and Paul through the love sacrifice of their own lives for others. Paul writes to the disciples in Thessalonica: “…but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you” (1 Thess 2:7-9).

The marked difference between how parents approach their children and an organization their members is sacrificial love. Just as a child learns love through the daily sacrifices his parents make for him, so the love of God is taught by the believers laying down their lives for other believers. We demonstrate to the world the love of God when we, as the family of God, lay down our lives for one another. The disciple John wrote: “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us“ (1 John 4:9-12). This is why the church is to function as a family and not an organization.

Family and Making Disciples

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In the movie “The Sound of Music” the widowed Captain von Trapp tries to run his family like he ran the Navy, with dire consequences. Although the Captain loved his children and the children loved their father, his organizational structures placed unnatural barriers between the Captain and his children. The nature of a family is unlike that of an organization and so the two function differently from one another.

The apostle Paul presents the church (ekklesia) as the “family” or “household” of God and yet our approach to church has been as if it is an organization (1 Timothy 3:14-15). We begin a church with a constitution, by laws, church government and then institute programs to run the church, which are both organizational in nature but foreign to any family. Ekklesia is based on the family essence of the Trinity; God the Father, His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We have been adopted into the family of God as sons and daughters so it only makes sense that we should function as family on earth as we will in heaven for eternity (Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:6-7).

In Philippians 2:22 we get a glimpse into Paul’s approach to disciple making with his disciple Timothy. Here Paul writes of the father-son relationship which he had with Timothy – again a family relationship. Just as children were not meant to be raised by an organization so disciples are best made in the context of a spiritual family. One reason why Christianity has struggled to make disciples is because we have approached disciple making with programs rather than as a family. Can an organization empower and develop its people? Certainly. But, there is a marked difference between how an organization develops its people and how a parent loves his child.

Learning Disabilities and Making Disciples of Jesus

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When I find myself frustrated in a discipling relationship it serves as a warning for me that I, as the discipler, am missing something significant in the life of my disciple.

Chad is a good example of this frustration. Chad had come to me to be discipled. He was a likeable guy, but he brought frustration into his relationships with his wife, friends, and employer. Soon into our own relationship I also found myself becoming frustrated with Chad’s attitude and behavior. We all saw Chad as a leader, but he was one of those gifted people who was wasting his talents and intelligence. I later discovered that we were not the only ones frustrated with Chad, but that he was also frustrated with himself. His spiritual life was stagnant and he felt distant from God.

I made a commitment to Chad that I was not going to give up on him but to join with him to find a breakthrough. A few weeks into the relationship I discovered what only Chad and his wife knew, that he had a learning disability. One day Chad told me, “Lewie, do you know what it is like to feel dumb everyday of your life?” Although Chad had a high IQ, both his education and Christian experience had made him feel dumb.

Christianity has made God inaccessible to people with a learning disability. Their impression from the church is that Bible reading, Bible study, sermons, reading Christian books are all important ways to connect to God, but because they have a difficult time reading they feel alienated from God.

People with learning disabilities usually hate school and yet their first exposure to Christianity is Sunday School. Chad would leave his Bible or study book at home so that he would not be asked to read in the class. Chad would visit a Bible study and if the teacher would ask someone to read a passage out loud, he would never return out of fear that someday the teacher may call on him to read.

I have now walked through the discipling process with four men who have a learning disability. Here are insights and suggestions that have come out of that experience:

  1. A relationship with Jesus is not based on one’s reading ability, no more than my relationship with my family or friends is based on my reading ability.
  2. People with learning disabilities are around you. They are often intelligent and articulate, and they are smart enough to know how to hide their disability.
  3. Have your disciple listen to the Bible on IPod or C.D.
  4. Discuss a passage of scripture together with your disciple rather than the traditional Bible study approach. (I have found that people with learning disabilities often have keen Biblical insight.)
  5. Read short passages from a Christian book with your disciple and then discuss it together.
  6. A learning disability does not limit the work or glory of God through the disciple. Discover the unique gifting of your disciple and together establish avenues for him to use his gifts.
  7. Find someone who does adult testing for those with learning disabilities. Chad and the other three guys were all tested by a specialist in learning disabilities. The test not only revealed their disability but also uncovered their strengths!
  8. People with learning disabilities tend to be relational and are great at making disciples of Jesus.