Fear and Making Disciples 1

The fears that your disciple is being forced to face is an indicator of where the Lord is at work in his life. One cannot follow Jesus and fear. Jesus confronted the fear in the hearts of his own men by leading them directly into their fears. One day a lake storm came up while he was asleep in the boat; he was frantically awakened by his disciples who were afraid for their lives. He was amazed at their lack of faith, for all fear is the consequence of a void of faith (Matthew 8:24). Even today, as a man seeks to follow Jesus, the Holy Spirit will lead him into his deepest fears in order for him to face and root out those fears.

When your disciple faces his fear it can have an adverse affect on his attitude and behavior. People respond to fear differently, some lash out (possibly at you!), some withdraw, and others self-medicate. During these times of fear it is not only an opportunity for you to teach your disciple the power and love of God, it is also an important time for you to affirm your own love for him.

Here are a couple of suggestions as you walk your disciple through his fears:

  1. Pray for the faith of your disciple, that it will remain strong.
    • Luke 22:31-32 “Jesus said, ‘Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.'”
    • 1 Thess 3:10 “Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith.”
  2. Do not project you own fears on your disciple, nor minimize the object of their fear. We do not all fear the same things.
  3. Love and fear are incompatible. Clearly communicate both God’s love for your disciple, as well as your own.
    • 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

From Log Jams to Making Disciples

There will be times when your disciple’s behavior may be unexplainable or erratic. Often the reason for this behavior will even be a mystery to your disciple; he might be doing what he does not want to do or not doing what he does want to do. The role of a discipler is to help the disciple discern what is going on in his inner man and to teach him the ways of God with His children.

One reason for unexplainable behavior is a log jam of mental, spiritual, and spiritual energies which are not utilized by the disciple as the Lord intended. Each disciple has been given gifts by the Holy Spirit designed to be used for the kingdom of God. Some are gifted as teachers, leaders, artists, musicians, servants, while others may write, teach children, build, or organize. This log jam of unused gifts causes a mounting pressure in the inner man that result in disruptive behavior and attitudes: depression, anger, fear, sexual sin, addictions, eating disorders, materialism, etc. In contrast, a disciple finds fulfillment and joy when he has an outlet for his gifts and abilities.

Although I cannot go into all the different log jams here, I will give a couple of examples. Jake was gifted with compassion. This gift made Jake aware of the needs of others and equipped him with a reservoir of love to share with others. Yet because he had not been taught what to do with this compassion he “stuffed” it rather than extending it to others. Jake then would self medicate with alcohol and drugs to cope with the hurt he saw around him and deaden the pain of not having an outlet for his compassion.

Cliff was gifted with an extraordinary intellect. His mind was always asking questions, seeing contradictions, and on a search for truth. Cliff would become caught in a frustrating loop of unanswered questions. He wondered what was wrong with him.

Here are a couple ideas I have used to help my disciple with log jams:

  1. Examine together with your disciple the ways of God with His men and women in the Scriptures. The path of a disciple is the way of faith. Joseph, David, Ruth, and Mary are some of the Biblical characters who serve as guides for your disciple in the life of faith.
  2. Ask your disciple what was the most fulfilling thing he has ever done or experienced and why. This question will help your disciple identify a time when he was utilizing his gifts as the Holy Spirit intended.
  3. Introduce your disciple to biographies of men and women of God who can serve as a role model for your disciple. Whether your disciple is a business woman or is preparing to be a missionary in India, there are lives through biographies that can serve as their guide. Biographies are especially helpful when a disciple is not like the discipler in gifting, or passions. Together you and your disciple can embark on a journey to find a role model for them, either living or through a biography.
  4. Expose your disciple to theological works, especially for those who are teachers and have an inquisitive mind. It is important not to give up until you and your disciple find a match to help with his intellectual questions. An author who worked for you may not relate to your disciple. Join your disciple in the pursuit of heart and mind that helps your disciple find answers and channels their mental energy.
  5. Set up a meeting with between your disciple and other disciples who have similar experiences or gifting. As a discipler, it is important to remain humble as there will be others who may be a better help for your disciple than you can be.

This process may take time and some experimentation to find which people and writers will be a fit with your disciple.

Curriculum for Making Disciples

The most common question I am asked about making disciples is “what curriculum do you use?”

Rather than following a curriculum, I team with the disciple to unearth the ways of God throughout his/her life. Each believer’s relationship with their Heavenly Father is unique, unlike any other child’s-past, present or future. The Lord personalizes the relationship by placing a distinguishing spiritual birthmark on each child through suffering.

Smasher was my brother’s English bulldog. Bulldogs do or don’t do whatever they like. Smasher did not like swallowing pills. It was an exercise in futility to try and get pills into his locked jaws. In making disciples I have wasted time and energy trying to convince people to swallow spiritual truths prematurely. Suffering is the instrument of God to open up a disciple’s heart to learn the ways, truth and nature of God.

Sufferings in the life of my disciple are the signposts of where and how the Holy Spirit is making that disciple into a follower of Jesus. My responsibility is to guide my disciple to view all the circumstances of his/her past through the lens of the sovereignty of God and His purposes.

The suffering in one’s life is the evidence of God’s work from childhood through adulthood. As I get to know my disciple I am looking for the points of suffering throughout their entire life. These then serve as markers which when connected provides a picture (or life-map) of God’s eternal purpose for that disciple’s life.