Disciple-Making is a Relational Experience

Posted on February 29, 2016 by Lewie Clark

My conviction is that if Jesus came to Chicago in 2016 he would make disciples in the same way he did 2000 years ago. He would engraft individuals into a small community where they would learn how to serve one another and how to give up their lives for the others.

Disciple-making is a relational experience. Jesus called his disciples “friends” and he loved them with the same love that the heavenly Father had loved him. It is not easy for Americans to wrap their minds around Jesus’s method of disciple-making because we are not a relational culture. Joseph Hellerman observes:

“We have a base problem when we attempt to discuss relationships within our current cultural setting and that is the extreme importance of the individual. I suggest that it is the unique orientation of Western culture- especially contemporary American society- that explains our propensity to abandon, rather than work through, the awkward and painful relationships we so often find ourselves in. Social scientists…call it radical individualism…”[1]

Even our mother tongue betrays us. English has only one word for “love” whereas the Greek language, for example, has four. In America we “love” our wives and we “love” a good hotdog.

Disciples of Jesus are made by love. Love is the placing of the interests of another ahead of my own. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16

It is a challenge to make disciples in a country where we “have been socialized to believe that our own dreams, goals, and personal fulfillment ought to take precedence over the well-being of any group.”[2] Or said another way, it is hard to make disciples of Jesus in a culture where the most important value is “me”.

Glenn Gray observes: “Men are true comrades only when each is ready to give up his life for the other, without reflection and without thought of personal loss.”[3]

A person that experiences the sacrifice of another laying down his life for him will never be the same.

[1] Hellerman, Joseph H. When the Church Was a Family (Nashville: B & H Academic, 2009)

[2] Hellerman, Joseph H. When the Church Was a Family (Nashville: B&H Academic, 2009)

[3] J. Glenn Gray, The Warrior: Reflections on Men in Battle (New York: Harper & Row, 1959), 43,45,46.

The Pursuit of Beauty

Posted on November 28, 2011 by Lewie Clark

Beauty transforms lives. To follow Jesus is to pursue beauty because he is the embodiment of all that is beautiful. The story of Jesus in his life, death, and resurrection is the most beautiful ever told.

Jesus demonstrates for us how to replace the odious with the beautiful through his interaction with his disciples. Beauty is cultivated in the life of a disciple by him experiencing the beautiful. Jesus taught his men the beauty of serving by washing their feet. Later they experienced the beauty of placing others ahead of themselves when Jesus laid down his life for them.

The cost of making a disciple is your willingness to sacrifice your life for your disciple in order for him to experience beauty. Just being taught about serving or being instructed about sacrifice does not change a life; rather it is by the laying down of your life for your disciple that he will come to understand spiritual truth. It is only in the experience of being served or in the experience of having another lay down his life for you does the life changing power of beauty take affect.

Teaching Your Disciple How to Forgive #4

Posted on March 28, 2011 by Lewie Clark

Recently a guy said to me, “Lewie, what is wrong with me? I am doing the very things I swore I would never do!” His dad later asked me, “What has happened to my son? I feel like I don’t know him anymore.” A dramatic change in your disciple’s behavior is probably not as sudden as it appears. Though hidden for years a root of bitterness buried in the secrecy of his heart will eventually manifest its fruit in his life.

While young your disciple can manage his bitterness and keep it at bay. But as he grows older he accumulates more hurt and disappointment that if not dealt with properly moves him towards a tipping point where the bitterness overwhelms him and takes over his life. Even his future is now controlled by his past hurt.

There is an agenda behind all bitterness. Your disciple targets his bitterness with precision. A son or daughter knows exactly what will hurt and disappoint his mom and dad, as any student knows the values of his school, and a parishioner understands what will get the attention of her church. The bitter person uses this knowledge as a means to either get the attention of another, to seek revenge, or to cause a person to pay for a wrong done.

Some closing insights on bitterness and forgiveness:

Not only will it frustrate your disciple but it will also be futile to try and get him to change his behavior before he understands how to forgive those who have hurt him.
You will need to partner with your disciple as he confronts his past because fear will hinder him from facing his hurt and disappointment.
All bitterness is ultimately directed towards God. (More on that later.)

Generational Love

Posted on June 6, 2010 by Lewie Clark

Lois Synder died this year, she was 96. Mrs. Synder taught my 2^nd grade Sunday school class and directed our Christmas pageant each year at the Christian Fellowship Church. I attended her memorial service with my mom and dad in the same auditorium where in 1952 Lois had decided to follow Jesus. When the Synder family walked into the service that afternoon I was moved. Before us stood 3 generations who follow Jesus nearly 60 years after Lois’ conversion.

In the service family and friends shared their memories of Lois. It was in these stories that we discovered the reason why her family still follows Jesus today: Lois loved well. She so loved her children and grandchildren in their formative years that this love overflowed to her great grandchildren. Not only did Lois love her family, but each week she would load her car with teaching materials and go share the gospel with children living in the inner-city.

Lois’ seemingly endless ability to love others flowed from her understanding of God’s love for her grounded in the cross of Jesus. God’s love for me will not be found in my circumstances, my heritage, my abilities, or my position, rather it is anchored in the truth that Jesus died for me. “. . . God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

God shows me how to love others in Jesus’ death for me. John writes: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 1 John 3:16-17” Once I begin to grasp the depth of God’s love for me, I am then able to love others in sacrificing my life for them. It will cost me to love my mate, my children, my friends, and my disciples.

How silly a question it would seem if we could ask Lois today, “Was it worth it?” I can only imagine the joy in her heart in seeing 3 generations loving God and loving one another.

The Kindness of Friendship

Posted on March 26, 2010 by Lewie Clark

Jonathan is my hero. He provides for us an example of the heart of friendship a discipler should have towards his disciple. Though a courageous warrior, Jonathan was a kind man, living counter to his surroundings and upbringing. His father, King Saul, was an angry, violent, proud, and irrational person. Although his siblings were products of their environment, Jonathan became humble, loyal, affectionate, and a good friend. He gives us hope that we are not fated to repeat our family’s dysfunction and self-destructive behavior.

As the story of Jonathan and David’s friendship unfolds we get a glimpse into the heart of Jonathan. Though heir to the throne, Jonathan was submissive to the purpose and will of God even though it meant for him a displacement to a secondary role. He actually chose to be a friend to the very man who would take his place as king.

But are there really any secondary roles in God’s economy? I do not believe that David could have become the man of God that he did without the foundation of Jonathan’s friendship in his life. Jonathan not only loved David but he taught him how to place a confidence in the purpose of God. Once when David was running for his life from Saul, Jonathan was able to speak courage into the heart of David because of his own trust in the sovereignty of God.

And Saul’s son, Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.” The two of them made a covenant before the Lord. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh. (1 Samuel 23:16-18)

Placing others ahead of myself is at the heart of following Jesus and making disciples. To be a follower of Jesus is to live for others. This is not only what Jesus taught but also what he displayed by his life.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:45)

When I place the interest of my friend’s life ahead of my own I am illustrating the good news of Jesus to the world. My nature is to watch out for myself and trust no one. Only my surrender to the sovereign purpose of God can rescue me from the pull of self-centeredness.

Jonathan embraced God’s purpose for his own life by understanding and embracing God’s purpose for his friend David’s life. Jonathan then purposed to join God in making David king and to serve him as the second man; in other words, to make David a success.

It is when I recognize that there is a divine purpose for the life of my disciple and that I willingly join the Holy Spirit in fulfilling that purpose, no matter the cost, that I become a true friend. Many want a Jonathan and David type friendship but few are willing to pay the price. It is in losing my life for the sake of a friend that I find my own life’s purpose.

Hospitality: A Starting Point For Making Disciples

Posted on February 25, 2010 by Lewie Clark

Hospitality is a good starting place for making disciples. It provides for you an opportunity to serve your disciple and to carve out a safe place for him to belong. Serving and making followers of Jesus are inseparable. Jesus told his disciples:

Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:43-45)

Hospitality not only allows your disciple to observe service to others, it also provides him an opportunity to become part of the serving process; whether it is cutting the bread, setting the table, or taking drink orders. Teaching your disciple hospitality is an important component for the spreading of the gospel through serving others.

Henri Nouwen writes:

How does healing take place? Many words, such as care and compassion, understanding and forgiveness, fellowship and community, have been used for the healing task of the Christian minister. I like to use the word hospitality, not only because it has such deep roots in the Judaeo-Christian tradition, but also, and primarily, because it gives us more insight into the nature of response to the human condition of loneliness. Hospitality is the virtue which allows us to break through the narrowness of our own fears and to open our houses to the stranger, with the intuition that salvation comes to us in the form of a tired traveler. Hospitality makes anxious disciples into powerful witnesses, makes suspicious owners into generous givers and makes closed-minded sectarians into interested recipients of new ideas and insights.

A Servant’s Heart and Making Disciples 1

Posted on October 6, 2008 by Lewie Clark

Taylor Gardner is the man who discipled me. His life is an illustration of a servant’s heart. One evening I received news that my dad had been severely hurt in a motorcycle accident hundreds of miles away. Though late at night, Taylor drove across the city to be with me and to make sure I was alright. I will never forget that act of kindness as long as I live. Taylor went on to serve me by opening up for me ministry opportunities, even when he knew he could have done a better job on his own.

As a discipler, serving your disciple is a necessary element in the relationship in order to cultivate within him a heart to follow Jesus. Unlike the world, the discipler is to serve his disciples rather than being the one served, as exemplified by Jesus himself. He not only taught about a servant’s heart, he demonstrated servanthood by serving his disciples in daily living, such as preparing breakfast and washing their feet, and in the ultimate act of service in laying down his life for them.

Disciple making requires more than a weekly Bible study with a disciple at Starbucks; it is living life together. As a discipler I must be acquainted well enough with the life of my disciple in order to see the opportunities to serve him and his family. I must also have the time available to serve my disciple when the opportunity does arise. This is why a discipler can only disciple a limited number of people. What good is it that I am aware of a need of my disciple, but I am not able to meet that need because I am too busy?

Here are a couple of lessons I have learned along the way about serving:

The opportunities to serve your disciple will come at inopportune times. It is the sacrifice you make to meet that need of your disciple that empowers the act of service with love.
Look for ways to serve your disciple in simple ways (like a ride to the airport), as well as a major event (such as a move).
It is the responsibility of the discipler to cultivate such a degree of comfort in the relationship that the disciple is able to share a need with the discipler.
An act of service says, “I love you.”

Imitating Jesus

The blog of a disciple maker

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