Mythbuster: Singleness-Myth #5, Myth #6, Myth #7

Myth #5 Singleness is not desirable for ministry.

Truth: Singleness has advantages over marriage in ministry.

Paul viewed his singleness as advantageous. A husband or wife is a good gift from the Lord but singleness is an equally good gift to certain ones of his children. God is not any less good to a single than he is to a married couple blessed with many children.

The early church did not view Paul or Barnabas as disadvantaged because of their singleness; rather as singles they served as leaders and role models for believers to follow.

“Join together in following my (Paul) example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.” Philippians 3:17.

Myth #6 Singles are incomplete people.

Truth: Singles (never married, widowed, divorced) are whole individuals because of the risen Messiah living within them.

Over the past three months I have interviewed singles that are in fulltime ministry and over 35 years old. One woman said in the interview, “Lewie, as a single I am not a 65% person or a 80% person but because of Jesus within me I am a 100% complete individual. It is Jesus who makes a person complete and content not marriage.”

A friend of mine said to me, “I just want people to stop feeling sorry for me because I am single! It is condescending for others to think that I am disadvantaged as a single.”

It is an affront to the heavenly Father to feel sorry for a single to whom the Lord has given the good gift of singleness. It is also presumptuous to think others must desire the same thing I do.

Should a person feel bad for desiring to get married? Certainly not, but neither should married couples assume that singleness is a bad thing for someone else.

Myth #7 Singles are discontent.

Truth: Marriage does not guarantee contentment.

A discontented single is more visible and memorable than those who are content and so there is a tendency to think of singles as overall discontent. Although there are unhappy singles there are also discontented married couples.

Paul serves as an example of joy and contentment though single.

“I (Paul) am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13

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