Author Archives: Lewie Clark

A Servant’s Heart and Making Disciples 1

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Taylor Gardner is the man who discipled me. His life is an illustration of a servant’s heart. One evening I received news that my dad had been severely hurt in a motorcycle accident hundreds of miles away. Though late at night, Taylor drove across the city to be with me and to make sure I was alright. I will never forget that act of kindness as long as I live. Taylor went on to serve me by opening up for me ministry opportunities, even when he knew he could have done a better job on his own.

As a discipler, serving your disciple is a necessary element in the relationship in order to cultivate within him a heart to follow Jesus. Unlike the world, the discipler is to serve his disciples rather than being the one served, as exemplified by Jesus himself. He not only taught about a servant’s heart, he demonstrated servanthood by serving his disciples in daily living, such as preparing breakfast and washing their feet, and in the ultimate act of service in laying down his life for them.

Disciple making requires more than a weekly Bible study with a disciple at Starbucks; it is living life together. As a discipler I must be acquainted well enough with the life of my disciple in order to see the opportunities to serve him and his family. I must also have the time available to serve my disciple when the opportunity does arise. This is why a discipler can only disciple a limited number of people. What good is it that I am aware of a need of my disciple, but I am not able to meet that need because I am too busy?

Here are a couple of lessons I have learned along the way about serving:

  1. The opportunities to serve your disciple will come at inopportune times. It is the sacrifice you make to meet that need of your disciple that empowers the act of service with love.
  2. Look for ways to serve your disciple in simple ways (like a ride to the airport), as well as a major event (such as a move).
  3. It is the responsibility of the discipler to cultivate such a degree of comfort in the relationship that the disciple is able to share a need with the discipler.
  4. An act of service says, “I love you.”

Family and Making Disciples 5 – Belonging

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Chicago Tribune writer Marla Paul took a risk when she wrote a self-revealing column confessing her sadness and frustration over her own inability to build and sustain friendships. She wrote this column expecting little, if any, response. However, she was inundated with letters from others experiencing the same kind of isolation.

One person wrote, “I’ve often felt that I’m standing outside looking through the window of a party to which I was not invited.”

Marla Paul ended her column about loneliness with these words: “Sometimes it seems easier to just give up and accept disconnectedness as a dark and unshakable companion; but, that’s not the companion I want.” She writes, “She is going to keep longing, searching, trying, and hoping that someday she will be able to discover and develop community.” [1]

People need to belong. The television show “Friends” is popular because people long to be part of a tribe of friends as seen on the show. This desire in man to belong comes from the nature of God. For all eternity the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have had each other and belonged to one another. Since man is created in the image of God, we too were made to belong to others.

Part of the discipling process is helping your disciple understand that they belong to God as a son and also to God’s family. A disciple of Jesus belongs to the family of God because he was wanted and adopted by the heavenly Father. Trevor Burke writes: “Adoption is about being wanted. It is about belonging” [2]. Along with discussions around the word of God about what it means to be a child of God, the discipler must continually include the disciple in his own life as well and draw his disciple into a loving group of the children of God.

Some closing thoughts on belonging:

  1. Include your disciple in your life. By allowing your disciple into the routine of your life, he will see how you relate to your spouse, children, and friends. It illustrates to him what it means to belong to God’s family. (Paul wrote of this approach in 1 Thessalonians: “You know how we lived among you for your sake…We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.”)
  2. Teach each member of your discipling community to consistently communicate to one another that they belong to the group and that they are an important part of the family. (We cannot be reminded too often that we belong.)
  3. Serve your disciple. One way to say “you belong” is by serving your disciple when they have a need. Even better is when a whole community can serve a need of one of its members.

[1] Paul, Marla, The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You’re Not a Kid Anymore, (Emmaus: Rodale Publishing, 2004)

[2] Burke, Trevor J., Adopted Into God’s Family: Exploring a Pauline Metaphor, (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2006), p.197.

Understanding Childhood and Making Disciples

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Kyle was a bright and athletic college student who lived an hour and a half from me. Periodically we would get together to explore God’s purpose for his life. One day he told me a story from his childhood and a memory about his Little League baseball team. The bases were loaded, with 2 outs. Kyle was up to bat, and he struck out. He had let his team down. We discussed the story a little further, along with some other topics, and then I drove back home. On the trip back the Holy Spirit got in the passenger’s seat next to me (not literally) and said, “You missed it. A semi-truck drove through the room while Kyle shared his story, and you missed it.”

The next day I drove back the hour and a half trip to locate Kyle on campus-needless to say he was surprised to see me back again so soon. I asked him, “Kyle, that Little League story you shared was really significant, wasn’t it? And I missed it.” He said, “Yes, it was, and yes, you did.” Kyle went on to say, “As a matter of fact, my life has revolved around that one incident, and I can’t seem to shake it. Every day I ask the question ‘Do I have what it takes to make it?'”

One of the best books I revisited this year was the autobiography of C.S. Lewis, “Surprised by Joy.” Although he was 54 at the time of writing, most of the book is dedicated to his childhood. He felt that an individual’s world-view and personality is set by the age of fourteen. He writes: “. . .they are forgetting what boyhood felt like from within. Dates are not so important as people believe. I fancy that most of those who think at all have done a great deal of their thinking in the first fourteen years” [1].

God is at work fulfilling His purpose throughout the entire life of a disciple. He is no less present in a person’s childhood than He is in his adulthood. The Lord uses suffering in the life of a child to make him like Jesus and to fulfill God’s purpose through his life. The discipler/friend can see the working of God in a disciple’s life by exploring the suffering in his disciple’s childhood. C.S. Lewis believed that, “Children suffer not (I think) less than their elders, but differently. [2] He went on to say, “Why, by the way, do some writers talk as if care and worry were the special characteristics of adult life? It appears to me that there is more atra cura (dark, harsh care and concern) in an average schoolboy’s week than in a grown man’s average year” [3]. As a discipler/friend I need to be sensitive to the pain of these memories, but I must also point my disciple to the fact that the hand of a sovereign God was at work in those childhood events and relationships.

Here are a couple lessons I have learned about listening to childhood stories:

  1. Be Sensitive. Childhood memories can still carry with them the sting of fear, shame, and inadequacy. While listening to a successful, balanced individual, it is easy to pass over seemingly insignificant events (like a Little League strikeout), which in reality were defining (and sometimes painful) moments in the life of the disciple.
  2. Do not presume which events are significant or insignificant in the life of a disciple. For example, a parent’s divorce may not carry the same weight to a child as a Little League strikeout, as strange as that may seem.
  3. People will intentionally skip over painful childhood experiences until they know they can trust you. (Again, he may immediately tell you about his parent’s divorce but not bring up the Little League strikeout). Over the months as the trust between you and your disciple builds, they will have the courage to share with you some of their difficult experiences.
  4. Ask your disciple to indicate when they are telling you something from their childhood that is important. Some stories are just memories, others were life shaping.

[1] C.S. Lewis. “Surprised by Joy”, (New York: Inspirational Press, 1987), page 36.

[2] C.S. Lewis. “Surprised by Joy”, (New York: Inspirational Press, 1987), page 12.

[3] C.S. Lewis. “Surprised by Joy”, (New York: Inspirational Press, 1987), page 50.

Friendship and Making Disciples 4

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Restoration Through Discipling-Friendship

The kingdom of God is about relationships. Man was designed by God to be loved and to love. The sad news is that in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve’s relationships were shattered, both with God, and with one another. There were now barriers of shame, self-consciousness, and fear between individuals and between man and God.

The good news is that Jesus has reconciled man to God, so that he can once again have a loving relationship with God and with others. Jesus came to earth to demonstrate how men can lovingly relate to God and to one another, both through His sacrifice on the cross, and through the example of His 30 month relationship with His own disciples. The discipling relationship restores individuals to God’s design so that man can be in relationship with one another as the Lord intended.

Here is how a discipling-friendship works:

  • God loved me first.

    The reason I can love God and love others is because He first loved me. “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). I am now able to love God and others out of the reservoir of infinite love poured into my life by God at the cross.Religion tries to manipulates men to love God, but the basis of the kingdom is that God loves us first and we are grateful responders to that love. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:10).

  • Relational restoration takes place in the bond of a discipling-friendship.

    A discipling-friendship relationship is vital component in the kingdom because it is means by which men learn how to love and to be loved. Jesus has given us the example of how to love by the laying down of His life for us. In the same way I am to love others by laying down my life for them. It is in a discipling-friendship that I experience being loved and then also having the opportunity to love another.

Friendship and Making Disciples 3

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Many desire a “Jonathan and David” friendship but few are willing to pay the price. The starting point for such a friendship is a heart surrendered to the Lord. If I am not yielded to the will of God, not only will I have difficulty embracing God’s purpose for my own life, but I also open myself up to jealousy and envy, even with those to whom I am closest. Jonathan exhibits for us a heart that is surrendered to the purpose of God that resulted in his extraordinary friendship with David, in spite of their circumstances.

As Jonathan and David’s story unfolds we see deep into the heart of Jonathan. Jonathan was to be the king of Israel after his father Saul, but due to Saul’s stubbornness and disobedience, his family loss the right of succession. Jonathan’s loss of the throne was due to no fault of his own, and yet he is submissive to the purpose of God even though it means a lesser role for him. Not only was it a diminished role, but he submits himself to the very man who is to take his place on the throne.

And Saul’s son, Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.” (1 Samuel 23:16-18)

Jonathan had the freedom to love and serve David rather than consider him as a threat because he was surrendered to God’s purpose in all things. Viewing others from a surrendered heart removes all threat and gives me the opportunity and privilege to lay down my life for my friend, first out of my love for God but also out of love for my friend. Also, David could trust Jonathan because Jonathan’s surrendered heart would never allow him to thwart God’s plan. A surrendered heart finds joy in making others a success, no matter the cost.

Here are some final thoughts:

  1. Take an afternoon with the Lord to pray for your disciple/friend and seek what the Lord’s purpose maybe for your friend’s life. (Most people will never have anyone do this for them during their entire lifetime.)
  2. Communicate to your friend your belief that God has a purpose for his life and together seek out what that purpose may be.
  3. Ask the Lord to provide opportunities for you to serve your friend.
  4. Help your friend to recruit a team of people to prayer for their life’s purpose.

Friendship and Making Disciples 2

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Making disciples and making friends requires an initiator. Jesus told his disciples that He had chosen them – they had not chosen Him.  It is life changing to be pursued by love, whether in romance, friendship, or discipleship.  As a discipler I do not wait for disciples to come to me, I pursue them.

Jonathan gives us a good example of taking the initiative in his friendship with David. Jonathan begins their relationship by drawing David into a love covenant with himself. “And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:3). To understand their friendship we need to be aware of how a covenant worked in the eastern world. A covenant was an agreement between two parties that set the conditions of the relationship. A covenant was not between equals; rather it followed the pattern common to the ancient near east treaties. The victorious king would set the terms of the covenant with the conquered people. The covenant implied relationship, promise, and expectation. At the beginning of their friendship, Jonathan, as the crowned prince, initiates the covenant with David who, at this point, makes no commitment to Jonathan.

Making disciples is a covenant friendship. In a discipling relationship the discipler takes the initiative to reach out to his disciple. In the beginning a discipler cannot expect a disciple to understand biblical friendship nor discipleship. My purpose is to be their guide as Jesus guided his disciples and Jonathan guided David.  Jonathan guides David for 13 years through his formative years in preparation for his life’s purpose to be the king. One example of this guidance is during a time when David discovered that King Saul was on his way to kill him. Jonathan found David and had him focus on the Lord, reminding David of God’s sovereignty and purpose in his life (1 Samuel 23:16-18).

Here are a couple of closing thoughts on being the initiator in a discipleship-friendship:

  1. Friendship is a learned skill. I teach my disciple how to receive friendship and how to be a friend.
  2. The pursuit of the friendship is an expression of love and value. The pursuit is a key component of the discipling process. Jonathan pursued David, Jesus chose his disciples, and Paul recruited Timothy.
  3. The pursuit takes time. I must continue the pursuit of the friendship until my disciple comes to the place of maturity and understanding where he can reciprocate in the friendship.  If I waited for my disciples to contact me after our first few meetings, I would have few disciples. The process takes months (sometimes years) rather than weeks. It is important to remember that Jonathan and David’s friendship covered 13 years, Jesus was with his disciples for 3 years, and Paul was with Timothy for 16 years.

Friendship and Making Disciples 1

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To make a disciple is to make a friend. As Jesus disciples were His friends, so my disciples should be my friends. The inability to make friends means an inability to make disciples which in turn hinders the multiplication of the kingdom of God.

The Western world-view tends towards a homogeneous oneness which has shaped its view of friendship. We absorb from our culture that a friend should be our age, look like us, come from a similar social/economic background, and share in our interests. This concept is illustrated in the legendary television show Friends. The characters were all from the same race, age and background. This perspective not only narrows our prospects for friends but it also limits the extent of what a friendship could be.

As the flight attendant broadens our perspective by reminding us that the nearest emergency exit may be behind us, so I need to be reminded to widen my field of view in friendship to include people who are younger, older, or different than I am. The friendship of Jonathan and David serves as such a reminder.

Jonathan was the oldest son of Israels king Saul.He was the crowned prince and a distinguished warrior when he first met David, who was as 17 year old sheep herder. Jonathan lived in palaces while David slept in fields. Jonathan was the oldest son, David the youngest.Jonathan was married, and David single. Jonathan was respected while David had lived with ridicule from his family. Although setting dates in ancient history is difficult, we can approximate that Jonathan was 20 years older than David.

Jonathan is my hero. He lives counter to his surroundings and upbringing. His father was an angry, violent, irrational, and self-serving man. While his other siblings were products of their environment, Jonathan rises above the fray and gives us an example of what a Godly man and friend should be.

Here are some closing thoughts on friendship:

  1. Broaden your search for a friend. Your new friend may be 20 years older or 20 years younger than you are and not look anything like you.
  2. Friendships are made. You may have to teach your friend how to be a good friend just as Jonathan taught David.
  3. Read the story of Jonathan and Davids friendship (1 Samuel 18 through 2 Samuel 1) from the perspective of Jonathan being 20 years older than David and that their friendship covered 13 years.

Music and Making Followers of Jesus

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I want to begin with a question: How much consideration do you think the apostle Paul gave to the style of music in his ministry? I doubt the question ever crossed his mind, and yet today churches are being torn apart over music. One side argues that church music needs to be relevant in order to reach a targeted people group, while the other side can’t image why we would abandon our long, rich heritage found in hymns and sacred music.

I am not addressing here the topic of worship. Music does have a role in worship, but music does not equate worship. The topic of music has become complicated for a couple of reasons:

  1. Music is now used as a symbol.

    Music has become a volatile issue because music styles have gone beyond taste and become identifying symbols for different generations, denominations, ethnic, and subculture groups. Symbols are powerful. In Chicago a simple blue cap with a red “C” represents the story, passion, tragedy, and hope of the Chicago Cubs. (Woe to the St. Louis fan who shows up wearing his red bird symbol!) Even within the church, music symbols can cause passionate divisions between parents and children, brothers, sisters, and ethnic groups. These symbols usually form out of a meaningful memory of a life shaping experience. Old and young believers alike can associate a song to a particular period in their life when the Lord moved in an extraordinary way, whether the event was 50 years ago or just recently, that song will always be a reminder of the experience. It is difficult for anyone not to take personally the criticism of a musical style that is associated with a strong memory, whether the criticism is from a parent, child, friend, or grandchild.

  2. Technology

    Technology has also complicated the role of music in our Christian community. Up until the 20th century there was no sound amplification in the church, but the invention of electricity has brought with it amplification and electronic musical instruments. Later technology introduced film, slides, PowerPoint, video and lighting to our services. These advancements have raised issues with which our forefathers did not have to wrestle. Technology has also positioned music to a more prominent role in our daily lives. Today a teenager can listen to music anywhere at any time on his Ipod, whereas his great grandparents could have only listened to live music.

Our use of music in the church in recent years has had unforeseen consequences causing division in the family of God. Our unity as followers of Jesus glorifies God and is a point of witness with a lost world, so we should be concerned about anything that brings dissention among us. I am not asking anyone to give up his hymnbook or his electric guitar, but I do believe followers of Jesus need to reconsider the role we have given to music in the church and our evangelism strategies.

Family and Making Disciples 4 – Leadership

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The types of leaders that are necessary to begin and sustain a multiplication of the kingdom of God are Godly moms and dads. The instruction, encouragement, kindness, time and sacrificial love that go into raising Godly children are the same necessary ingredients to make followers of Jesus. Paul reveals his own parental approach to disciple making in 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 where he writes: “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.”

Yet, sadly, the same parents who have raised Godly children feel inadequate to make disciples of Jesus because Christianity has made discipling an educational method through curriculum, classrooms, and certification rather than a family relationship. I believe that the church has passed over kingdom leaders because they were not perceived as qualified, even though they have raised Godly children. I am now challenging parents to help advance the kingdom of God by making followers of Jesus in the same way that they raised their children.

The church (ekklesia) is made up of the children of God, and so it only seems consistent that we would function as a family on earth. Families cannot be run as an organization, and yet Christianity approaches the church as an organization as seen in the way it recruits and trains its leaders. The starting point for recruiting church leaders are with men with post-graduate degrees from religious education institutions The seminaries instruct their students in theology and church leadership, but how much preparation do these students have in how to be a good husband, wife, or parent?

I attended a pastor’s conference where business and military leaders challenged us to take the leadership principles from their organizations and apply them to our churches. One pastor said that the same leadership training he was giving us he also used to help businesses. This is not to say that there is no authority, structure, or accountability in the church; healthy families have all these things. I also am not suggesting that a leader of a business cannot be an effective leader in the church, or that pastors do not have helpful insights for the business world, but there is a marked difference between how a business and a family functions.

Here are a couple of action points I am working on:

  1. I am rereading the New Testament with the lens of viewing the church (ekklesia) as the “family of God.”
  2. I am recruiting Godly dads and moms, who could never imagine themselves making disciples or as kingdom leaders, to disciple others in the same way they raised their own children.
  3. I am interviewing Godly moms and dads for insights into how they raised their children and applying it to how I can disciple others.

Family and Making Disciples 3 – Multiplication

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The church (ekklesia) is a family and is to be led as a family. When the apostle Paul was looking for men to lead the church, he looked for men who were good husbands and dads. Paul understood the family essence of the church and that the same principles that build a healthy family are the same values that will multiply the kingdom of God. He writes: “He (the overseer) must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church (ekklesia)?)“ (1 Timothy 3:3-6)

Multiplication in a family is a natural and anticipated result. Good parents create an environment that is not only safe for the child but also one that moves the child onto maturity. Parents understand that the maturing process takes time but it is balanced with the expectation that someday this child is to leave their home to raise his own family. There is something unnatural about a 27 year old still living at home.

Jesus used the example of yeast and a seed to illustrate the multiplication nature of the kingdom of God. Jesus said: “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:23-25). The multiplication principle of “death brings life” was taught and demonstrated by both Jesus and Paul through the love sacrifice of their own lives for others. Paul writes to the disciples in Thessalonica: “…but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you” (1 Thess 2:7-9).

The marked difference between how parents approach their children and an organization their members is sacrificial love. Just as a child learns love through the daily sacrifices his parents make for him, so the love of God is taught by the believers laying down their lives for other believers. We demonstrate to the world the love of God when we, as the family of God, lay down our lives for one another. The disciple John wrote: “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us“ (1 John 4:9-12). This is why the church is to function as a family and not an organization.